雅虎先生–YahooSir.com

我第一个女是学艺术的，和她ML的时候最爱说的一句话就是：亲爱的，我们来个有创意的姿势吧？  第二个女是学经济的，她的一句话更火爆，说：为什么小姐ML有收入，我就没有呢？  ……  后来和兄弟谈起这件事情时，兄弟也深有同感，他第一次和他女ML时，女说了一句爆笑终生的话：咦……？你的小JJ怎么长得象二极管？学电子的。

[attachment=182]海底奇异的猫鱼

[attachment=181]美女的奴隶

[attachment=180]让男人不能忍受的

Letter of RecommendationWhen Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources. "Since I've been with the firm for so long," he said, "I think I deserve at least a letter of recommendation."The human resources director agreed and said he'd have the letter the next day. The following morning, Peters found a letter on his desk. It read, "Jonathan Peters worked for our company for 11 years. When he left us, we were very satisfied."推荐信彼得斯听说自己被解雇了，便去见人力资源部的头头。“既然我在公司干了这么久，”他说，“我想至少该给我一封推荐信。”人力资源部主任同意了，并说他第二天就可拿到该信。第二天早上，彼得斯在他的桌子上看到一封信，上面写道：“乔纳森?彼得斯在我们公司干了11年。当他离去的时候，我们很满意。”

Is He Dying?A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, "The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life."Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. "Sure," came the reply, "but he only gave me ten."他就要死了吗？一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。那人哭着说：“刚才医生告诉我，在我的余生里都要吃这些药片。”他的朋友很轻松地指出，许多人一辈子每天都要吃药。“当然，”男人回答说：“但是他只给了我十片。”

I am a Busy ManOne day a bunch of naughty children wanted to make fun of him and said to him:" There are birds' eggs on that tree. Won't you get them for us please? We can't climb up."Loath to disappoint the children, he was ready to climb the tree. But knowing that the mischievous youngsters would make off with his boots if he left them on the ground, he tied them to his waist-band before he started the climb."We'll take care of your boots for you!" the children chorused."No, thank you!" was he reply. "I am a busy man. And as soon as I've got the eggs for you, I'll make my way home along the tree-tops."我是个忙人有一天，一群顽皮的孩子想捉弄他，便对他说：“那树上有鸟蛋，请你替我们拿下来好吗？我们爬不上去。”他不想使孩子们失望，便准备爬上树去。但是他知道如果把靴子留在地上，这群顽皮的小鬼一定会把靴子拿走，于是他先把靴子系在腰带上，然后开始爬树。孩子们齐声说：“我们会替你保管好你的靴子的。”他回答道：“谢谢你们，不必了。我是个忙人。替你们取到蛋后，我就要沿着树顶走回家的。”

Guns Buried in the GardenAn old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in  prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden.    He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!"At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns.Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."埋在花园里的枪一个老人独居在北爱尔兰，他的独生子正在坐牢。老人想在花园里种些土豆，但不知道谁可以帮忙把泥土翻松。他写信想儿子提及此事，儿子回信说道：“看在上帝的面上，千万不要翻松花园的泥土，我把枪埋在那儿了。”第二天凌晨4点，一队英国士兵出现在老人家中，在花园把土地翻遍，但并没有找到任何枪支。”老人写信告诉儿子这件奇怪的事情，问到底发生了什么事情，下一步应该怎么做。儿子回信道：“你只管种土豆好了。”

Good news and bad newsAn artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. "I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied. " The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings."   "That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What's the bad news?". With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The guy was your doctor."好消息和坏消息一个画家问美术馆的主人有没有人对他正在展览的画作感兴趣，“我有个好消息，又有个坏消息要告诉你，”主人说：“好消息就是一位绅士向你的画作询价并想知道你死后那些画会不会升值。当我告诉他会以后，他便买下了你全部的15幅作品。”“那太好了！”画家惊叹道，“那坏消息呢？”主人面露关切之色，回答道：“那个人是你的医生。”

Go BarefootIn secondary school, I was always self-conscious about my height.Once I was asked out by a life-guard. I had never really stood next to him and didn't know how tall he was, so the night of the date I took out two pairs of shoes-one with heels, one flat. I arranged with my brother to answer the door, compare his height with my date's and run upstairs to let me know which shoes to wear.When doorbell rang I waited. Then my brother showed up and told me what I didn't want to hear: "Go barefoot."光着脚去中学的时候，我对自己的高度非常敏感。一次，一位救生员约我出去。事实上，我从未和他并肩站过，因而不知道他到底有多高。因此约会那晚，我拿出两双鞋，一双高跟，一双平跟。我安排哥哥去开门，让他和救生员比比高度，再上楼告诉我应穿哪双鞋。门铃响了，我在楼上等着。哥哥跑上楼告诉了我一个不幸的消息：“你可以光着脚去约会。”